A love so underrated yet beautiful

Love, a beautiful feeling. Some spill words into paper and call it poetry and some manage to express the unsaid. LOVE is said to be selfless! Keeping someone else above you, forgiving things that you don’t usually approve of, expecting nothing in return, and doing anything and everything from the inner core of the heart. This reminds me of the only love in this world that we don’t have to earn, that we have the privilege to get right from birth. The only selfless love; is by our parents. It takes a lot to be selfless, To be able to give that kind of love.

But, it is a human trait to undervalue the things that we get for free.

Funny, isn’t it? How we used to be loveable without having to put any extra effort to be beautiful and better than someone. We don’t have to fit into the societal beauty standards or the choosing game to be loved by our parents.

Parents are our personal diaries. We write in them every single day, never failing to explain how it felt; how exciting or how sad the day was. But slowly growing up, we forget to write as fluently as we used to. We even forget what we wrote there after years. They know our first friend that we met in primary school. The blurred image that comes to our mind when we hear of them; our parents remember every little detail of them though they are slowly forgetting where they kept their glasses minutes ago. They know the bunch of friends we made in our extra-friendly era and the only friend that exists now. They know which one might probably betray us when things go upside down. And when we keep defending them against our parents, they prove us so wrong that there will be nothing left to say.

They know more than us. They always manage to know what’s better for us with the slightest information available. And we always regret doing things that they didn’t approve of. They just care too much. And there lies the problem. If only they didn’t care much, maybe they could get the attention and the appreciation they truly deserve. But how could a parent not care enough?

Your parents tell you about your privilege of a roof over your head, the good food you get, the A-class education, and the comfy clothes you wear every now and then. Do you feel “ But that’s not something one must mention as it is their duty!” It was them who decided to give birth, and they should have known this follows. But this is a very wrong perception, I say. That’s not ranting as we feel like it is. It is because they put extra effort into giving you a better life than what they got from their parents. It is their way of saying that they tried their best, giving you a life you wouldn’t question. They haven’t mentioned all the love they give to you, the career they declined for your sake, the trip they didn’t go for you and all the countless sleepless nights they spent for you ever. Here lies the real struggle, but you have hardly listened to parents throwing this to your face. They have always done things for you. And maybe they just want to be acknowledged. They just want to feel like all they did will be worth it, someday.

For you to be a better person. For people to know that you were raised right.

On a random day, as you sit in your room with your favourite playlist playing in the background and your procrastinated to-do list, your mother enters your room and starts arranging your stuff that isn’t even necessary. She has no intention of invading your personal space. She’s only trying to get away from her own frantic thoughts, which pop up once in a while, and the best thing that makes her forget the world and even herself is you.

When your father tells you to post something on Facebook on his behalf, it is not because he doesn’t even know proper English structures to do so. It is because he knows you will represent him in the best ways that exist.

Your parents post pictures where you don’t even look that good, it’s because they never even cared about it in the first place. When you fall sick, the light in the other room does not switch out once; this is because they stay awake all night to provide you any help you may require in the middle of the night.

Your mother didn’t buy that jewellery she always wanted to wear, just so that you wouldn’t have to think twice before buying something you like. Your father always brings the packed food home because he doesn’t like to eat something delicious without including you.Your parents used to come sit with you at the end of the day no matter how busy or hectic their working day would be. People that have always been there.

I feel like we constantly misunderstand our parents, despite our greatest efforts to comprehend others, yet there are no complaints for not bothering to understand.

Why do we have the impression that they consistently follow irrational notions when making something for us that is supposed to shield us from harm? It’s the same as buying ourselves evil eye jewellery to keep us protected. Growing up, we know some people love to ruin things, so it’s no longer a joke; it’s a necessity.

The form might have changed, but the purpose remains safe.

Do parents love us, or are they obligated to do so?

I read somewhere that “It is not the absence of love but the clash of love languages.” and I have never felt something so strong. Making sure we eat every day, keeping track of our locations, even calling friends you are hanging out with, and buying you the mentioned needs, is the way they convey their love to you as a sign of their love language, which maybe isn’t your way of feeling loved. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

There is love; so much love, just not I love you.

Dilasha Upadhyay

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